A Case of a Mobile Phone
By: Geo (November 15th, 2007)My friend’s son has been nagging his dad since several days to buy him a mobile handset. I think the boy is justified to an extent. My friend had promised to buy his son the handset, provided he got a first class in his matriculation. Now my friend regrets, why he didn’t put a higher goal of say, a distinction. The boy’s classmates all flaunt their gizmos, just outside the school campus, since they are not permitted to take a handset inside. The boy feels Jurassic and now he also feels cheated.
He is close to me and one day he asked me to talk to his dad about this issue, and so I called his dad to the downtown café as the boy and all were very dear to me. My friend was dot on time as usual. There is a lot to learn from the secular market place too. My friend smiled at me, as if saying, I knew you would be late. Before getting into any other talk and also to avoid his teasing me on my being late, I pounced on him with my concern, as if that were the greatest need of the hour. Surely it was, at that time.
Me: Hey why don’t you keep your word man? Why don’t you buy your son a handset as you promised him? Are you not giving him a negative cue by not keeping promises?
Friend: Hey you are wrong if you think that I don’t want to keep my word. Very wrong. But I am only sheltering my one and only son. As a parent, am I not supposed to do it?
Me: Well, I am sure your boy doesn’t appreciate your sudden over-protective stance.
Friend: Surely he doesn’t. He says that he is grown up enough (laughs). You know what, even at this age I still sometimes miss my dad and his sheltering! But my son says he is grown up (laughs again).
Me: Times are different man. They do grow up faster now. They are seeing a lot more of the world these days than we did in our entire youth.
Friend: Precisely. I am actually scared yaar. Don’t you read the papers or watch the TV man? I am really scared of what I will actually be getting for my son. I mean, its not just about a mobile talking device anymore.
Me: I have read it, heard it and seen it and it is surely disturbing. The mobile companies themselves send me messages on the facilities I can avail through them, and I admit it is truly unsettling. But don’t you trust your son and his upbringing? Won’t it help him stand strong against any such possibility?
Friend: I trust him man. But I don’t trust the media. I don’t trust the whole environment. I don’t trust the whole lot of information that will be at his fingertips. Everyday is not going to be the same for him. There are going to be days when he is depressed and lonely and weak and it is at those times, that I am afraid, that he may start misusing this gadget unwisely.
Me: Sure. I agree. Already lot of changes are occurring in him at the physical, psychological and physiological levels and each day will be a discovery for him and a struggle for his anxious parents.
Friend: He is only growing up at all those levels. His mind is yet to catch up with him. Do you remember the DPS school MMS case? With their level of maturity, they actually end up misusing the utility, and end up becoming a subject of ridicule, embarrassment and public debate!
Me: Yeah, what a misuse of a camera phone. But isn’t that a rare incident?
Friend: Isn’t that rare only because it got media attention? Don’t you think it was only a tip of the iceberg? Lot more is happening behind closed corridors of schools, homes and public places, much of which is facilitated by the mobile phone.
Me: I would like to know more…
Friend: I hope you and every parent for that matter would keep themselves updated about things happening in the world. Sometimes, we feel technologically incompetent to handle these gadgets and perhaps rightly so, because these kids are much faster and better and very well versed. Sometimes we cannot make head and tail of certain subjects and technologies. But I think parents should make an effort to understand what they cannot understand. We cannot let things slip beyond control for our kids. Can we? I will not let that happen for my son man. He is too dear for me.
Me: Hey, You are getting too emotional.
Friend: Maybe, I would rather be an emotional and outdated dad with his son by him, than be a level headed and Modern dad with a prodigal and lost son.
Me: Are you not extrapolating too much? Are you not over reacting?
Friend: You can call me that if I were stretching into the future and making assumptions. But it is not so. I am arguing on the basis of what I read and see as to be happening around me. I am scared. Today it’s happening around me. Tomorrow it might happen in my house. Can I or should I risk that? I would rather be a hundred times shy, than be bitten once. I don’t mind end up looking like a traditional buffoon than cry over a child gone awry.
Me: I still feel, you are taking things too much into your hands. As if it is you who is going to ensure a good future for your son!
Friend: Partly yes. But these guys are so smart that they will sit in front of us but using their phones they will be in a virtual world simultaneously with other people, discussing subjects that may otherwise be avoided in our presence.
Me: Come on, not always man.
Friend: Yep. Not always, but as I said earlier, God only knows when they will do what and talk what. A lot of these kids are getting into premarital relationships, many times with grown up people who lure them to fulfill their secret and kinky fantasies or simply to fulfill their lust. Other times, they are involved with each other and this is facilitated by empty homes. In the name of studying they end up in a mess. Earlier, when there were joint families, grand parents or other elders would help sheltering the kids once they were home, but the unit family setup that is prevalent now and with both parents working to make ends meet, these children have a “good” (waves his fingers) time.
Me: But your wife is not working man. She is going to be home always.
Friend: Yeah but can you guarantee, that my son wont be lured by someone else who has an empty house at his/her disposal.
Me: What if it is a His?
Friend: Gone are the days when it was okay to have boys spending times together. Times have changed. Don’t you read about the gay movement?
Me: This way, you will end up being a maniac.
Friend: Hey, I have got to consider all options. Recently I read of teachers who got caught after the students confessed about his misdeeds. And even if the relationships don’t get physical, a lot of damage does happen even at emotional level. The mobile phone facilitates these kids to be bold and write or ask anything to anyone which otherwise they would never have dared to ask face-to-face, and sometimes, it clicks for them. Leave that all aside for a moment. Suppose I do get him an instrument, it gets outdated in a few months and he will surely come back to me with a request for a replacement very soon, else again, he will find him self outdated.
Me: But that you can always tell him to be un-workable from the very beginning, isn’t it?
Friend: Maybe, but don’t you think people have lost their social etiquettes after this thing has invaded mankind. There is not value of the person sitting in front of you. People keep on punching this gadget absolutely ignoring the ones sitting in front of them. And what do you say about the offensive ring tones that they proudly keep.
Me: That I agree. I recently got a scare when the phone of the young guy sitting next to me in the bank rang. It was a sound of a man shouting and screaming. I missed a couple of heartbeats. I am sure, if a patient were sitting next to him, he would have died.
Friend: I sometimes hide my phone and keep because sometimes I feel it is more fashionable not to have a mobile phone. The milk, vegetable and paper vendors, all have it.
Me: I have not seen a beggar have it.
Friend: Maybe, we have not. But looking at the schemes the mobile companies are floating, I am sure, they may be having it too, or at least they will have it very soon.
Me: Imagine, getting a phone call from a beggar asking for alms (laugh)!!
Friend: Quite possible (laughs too). Also dear, the new phones coming out have Internet access and as you know, there is no policing to what is available from the Internet. Every crap is available. These kids are downloading pornographic images and clips from various sites and we sometimes will not have a clue even if they have it on their phones, because, these kids know where to keep them so that we cant spot it or if nothing, they will put them behind security locked folders.
Me: I didn’t think about that!
Friend: And there are many more things that I have not told you and probably much more that I myself am not aware of. I cannot take that risk. What do you say now, do I still keep my word and get him a mobile phone, or should I wait till he actually needs it.
Me: Well, I will talk to your boy. I think he should wait and trust your judgment and wisdom is not getting him one. But then will you promise to compensate this promise with something else?
Friend: Sure man. Isn’t everything that is mine, his too? Am I not toiling hard and worrying for his good and for his future?
Me: Easier said. But it is difficult to make them understand that.
Friend: Right. Even I felt the same way when my parents used to stop me with their concerns of those times. But after I became a father myself, I appreciated their concerns.
Me: Its true, Its true. I will talk to him man. Hope he understands.
Friend: His mom, out of concern recommends for him. She says that if he has a mobile phone with him, she can keep a track of where he is and he too can inform immediately in case of an emergency.
Me: Well…that’s right but I think we should take that risk compared to the risk that you elaborated before me. I think much more is at stake by getting him a mobile phone right now.
Friend: Once he is a bit more mature and when he actually needs it, I will surely get it for him. Till then let him allow us to lead him.
It had turned out to be a long discussion but it was quite an eye-opener on several issues. It is always a delight to end such conversations with a word of prayer. My friend was more than willing to oblige me on that. We committed this issue at the feet of our Lord, not only for my friend’s family, but also for the entire fraternity of parents facing a similar predicament.
Later on, I called the boy and talked to him and fortunately, sitting in a God fearing family, it was much easier for me to convince him to respect his dad’s viewpoint. I was only hoping that many more fathers would realize their sovereignty and position as the head of the family more seriously and took such strong stands for the sake of their kids, even on seemingly small issues, and I was also desperately hoping that many more kids would give in to the sheltering tendencies of their parents in view of godliness.
Tags: Mobile Phones, Soul Cafe