Brown Sugar Daddy
By: Archana (May 3rd, 2008)Dear Diya,
25 years back, on a cold winter morning, God came to my home wrapped in a small bundle. A pink smudgy face,tiny arms and legs…. eyes that learnt to speak much before the mouth did…In a flash of a second, i had gone from being a selfish young guy to a man entrusted by God to bring up this tiny ray of hope…this ray of happiness we call Diya…
Oh what a misfit I was at first! Couldn’t hold you properly and had nightmares about dropping you! Could never get the diapers right and wished there was a mute button on you when you cried all night for no apparent reason! But I learnt…and I have loved every moment of it….
It seems like it was just yesterday that I bought you that new bike with the small basket and shrill ringing bell for your birthday. You jumped like there were springs on your legs! You rode it all around the street ringing the bell, shouting “My daddy is the greatest!! My daddy is the greatest!!”.
You didnt turn back that day sweetheart and I’m glad you didnt…because my eyes were welling up with tears…My little girl thought her daddy was the greatest…
For me there could never be a higher standard in life than being the best daddy to you..
Sometimes I was, sometimes I wasn’t.
Do you remember the first time we all went from Mumbai to Ahmedabad by plane? You were so afraid that you did not leave my hand for a second on that flight! Here’s a terrible confession my little one, it was my first time on a flight too and I was equally if not more petrified than you…thats why I did not leave your hand!
When you wanted to go on a trip with your friends outside the city, I had asked you to choose between me and the trip. The smart cookie that you are (you obviously inherited it from your mom), you gave me the tightest hug, the sweetest kiss and said “I choose the trip because my daddy is already mine..”..
Diya…my darling daughter…Every day since you came into my life, it has been nothing but magical. I dont know how time passed…how you outgrew those small animated frocks i loved buying for you..how we both fought over that (heavily flea-infested) stray dog you wanted to adopt and how we would often laugh and imitate mummy when she scolded either of us!
I’m reminded of you everytime I see my bald plate in the mirror…You loved to tie little pony tails on my hair in my younger days and brush me up with mom’s heavily scented sandalwood powder…You were quite a girl then, as you are today.
I haven’t always agreed with your choices but I’m proud that you chose your heart in showing you the way ahead.
Yes, I will always keep grumbling that you did not become an astronaut and that you did not marry an intellectual Bengali fellow like your mom ( ha ha) but I will always love you for being the greatest daughter on earth…
And on this day, as I see my little baby girl standing in front of me..like a princess out of a fairy tale..all dressed up in the finest bridal wear, I have a lump in my throat….
They say, ‘As times change, people change’…but nothing has changed between us. I’m still the same old daddy for you. If you ask me darling, I will ride that little red bike of yours around the street, honking that horn shouting “My daughter is the greatest..My daughter is the greatest!”
God bless
Love you lots
Daddy
p.s-You know what, I don’t think I have the guts to give you this letter today…Maybe sometime later…
——-
Dear Daddy
25 years back on a cold winter morning, God decided that he couldn’t do without you anymore. In a flash of a second he took back the person I loved most in the world..
The day they put that sickening white cloth over your calm face, I did everything I could to wake you up. I screamed, I howled, I pleaded, I begged….but it was not to be.
I’ll be honest with you daddy…I hated God then…He smashed the lights out of my life and was not even there to comfort me…I lay inconsolable..desperate to want you to talk to me, laugh with me and tell me to go out and enjoy life instead of sulking in a corner…
I was wearing one of your shirts..The brown one which always made me call you “Brown sugar daddy” and I inhaled the shirt deeply to find your fragrance…You always teased me about being a liar because of my long nose and today I smelt out this letter from the pocket of this shirt…
How can I forget our first flight daddy? When I snuggled close to you, I could feel your heart beating as fast as mine and I clasped your hand tighter letting you know that we were together in this…
I wish you had given me this letter on that day itself..but I’m glad you didnt…You were strong enough daddy.. to let your little girl go and find her wings but I wasn’t…But you have come back as my brown sugar daddy to teach me another valuable lesson in my life…that people pass away but love doesn’t…
I have just bought your mischevious grandson a small red bike on his birthday….I told him its a gift from his grandpa who lives in a star far away…
Daddy look! He is ringing that horn screaming “My grandpa is the greatest!! My grandpa is the greatest!!”
You are programming him to do that from above aren’t you??!!! Well..I want you to do that…forever…I need you dad…and I will hold your hand now and forever in this long flight called life…
Love you lots
Diya
p.s-You know what, I dont think I have the guts to give you this letter today…maybe sometime later…
May 3rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
touching story archana…nicely written…keep it up…
May 4th, 2008 at 1:08 am
I bet every person who visits this post will have a leaf to take out of this. Our parents, you are right, make mistakes too and learn during our upbringing. It’s a first time for them as well. But do we care? Rarely! We always stand there with the measuring tape checking up their standards as ideal parents. Bible talks about God determined the times and exact places where we should live. I believe the same holds true for the kind of people (be it parents, siblings, friends and colleagues) in our lives. Yet, we tend to be ‘wishy-washy’, hoping for a ‘better’ place, time, parents, friends, etc.
The letter-writing seems to be an interesting exercise that can be taken up. Who knows, many a hearts can be mended around us.
The post touches almost every such aspect and, as I said, many will relate to it. Keep it up!
May 5th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Beautifully written and heart rendering. I can’t tell you how much I have benefitted from this. Thank you
May 7th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
although a father - child relation is a very complex one….having its own ups and downs, but over a long period we understand its value….vinay raised a very important point…nobody is experienced in bringing up children….it’s their first time also….changing nappies…handling teens….one person told me something which puts things in perspective….only when you become a father or mother you will understand the heart of a father or mother…. till then i guess we will keep using the measuring tape.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Nice. It is true that we take our parents for granted. It is not too late to make a start. Egos should not come in the way
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
it reminds me of my father n the loving relationship i share with him. girls like me, and u are blessed to have so loving and understanding parents. Its the most beautiful and trustworthy relationship that god endows, when a newborn baby is born to a couple. We can never thank parents enough for wat they do for us, they are aptly called next to God. Very well expressed and a very befitting tribute to the most wonderful part of our lives : family.