Blog@GraceJunction

My eyes saw spreadsheets everywhere and I just wanted to get rid of it. I put aside my plans to paint for a while and yearned to finish dinner in a jiffy and plunge onto my bed the very next min. It would have been just another evening but for the phone call. The urgency in the tone of my sister at the other end made all my other-wise lousy senses alert.

Half a minute was all it took. O Boy! If times were to snatch the sweet memories, I would cling onto them tightly…cuz it is all that is left with me now. The songs we sung together at Sunday school, breaking the file we were asked to stand in, rolling with laughter at senseless things, pulling each others leg and all those stupid talks during the drama rehearsals which would go on and on much to the Sunday school teacher’s dismay.

How will I ever forget the innocence which you possessed? Didn’t you promise to take me around Chennai next time I came for vacations? I told you I would come during Christmas, didn’t I?

O Boy! I feel so old, now when I think how I was when your age. Wasn’t I silly? But you were a darling my boy. Didn’t you always give a sensible piece of your mind to us? I know we all have to bid farewell some day or the other, but you could have said a proper bye. I shall not question God or his plans for you. But my loss is obvious.

Frantic calls, wails, hushed tones were what followed. I was left behind to stay with my sibling as elders rushed to his place. And in the quietness of my room my mind wasn’t coming to terms with this strange quietness.

Questions, which didn’t seem to have an answer, memories and uncertainty together, flooded my mind. Hours passed by. My head ached, my body having lost its strength cried for sleep but my eyelids just wouldn’t meet. Can I not lead my life as if there was no tomorrow? Do I really need to take time to ponder about the existence of heaven and hell, which most said was an unintelligent myth? Can I not just give a heck about what awaits me after I pass on? Well, I may if it suits me. But in this absolute uncertainty that surrounded me, I knew about one thing that was certain - death.

I could feel my intractable helplessness pointing towards a power which seemed to control our lives. The power which brings us to life and the same power that snatches us back. And as compelling the truth about death was, did my senses grasp the reality of heaven and hell? Who has ever been dead and rose again to talk about hell or heaven? Can I run away from the fact that Jesus did? Well, I may pretend not to know and choose to differ but He did conquer death and went about declaring his victory in hell before ascending to heaven to prepare a place for those who waited on HIM.

Life seemed but a journey which we begin at birth. All that follows is just a fleeting moment on this earth, after which there is no second chance granted to mend our ways. I can now understand why the first public sentence that Jesus made was – repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. He was asking us to turn to Him as He alone could save us from eternal death that can meet us at any point.

It seemed to answer my questions about a young man who passed on in such an untimely manner. A young man can dream big and go about living his dreams – no qualms but he can keep his ways pure only by living according to the words of Christ. This reality suddenly seemed to have hit me – reality which after much pondering and experiencing was written by the wise King Solomon of Israel.

…and my eyes finally gave in to the cry of my body…

Tags: death, innocence, journey, life

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 7th, 2008 at 1:23 am and is filed under Accidents, Articles, Purpose of Life, Spiritual, Sudha, Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.