Tonic for Immobility
By: Geo (May 29th, 2009)
It was sad to read the story of Chitra Parmar in the morning today. Depressed over a failed love affair, this 20-year-old student of National Institute of Fashion Design, committed suicide by hanging herself from the ceiling fan on Sunday evening. In the suicide note she said she was taking the step because she could not get over the fact she had been jilted by her lover Hiren Patel. She also named three more people as responsible for their break-up. Finally she apologised to her parents in the suicide note.
I don’t think that the apology worked. She was just jilted but now her parents have been deceived and defrauded by her so badly that they will bleed and remain tormented by the events for the rest of their lives!
I sometimes wonder, what makes these young people take such extreme steps. What is it that makes them think so terminally?
Apparently they seem to be having a lot of courage to be able to take such a drastic step but on deeper thought one realises that these are only quitters who don’t have to bones to face life and realities.
These are people who don’t realise that ‘No’ is also an answer and needs to be accepted with dignity and that there definitely is life beyond temporary shattering of dreams and broken relationships. There is a life beyond failures. Moreover, it is absolutely foolish to make any human relationship look so important as to make it look indispensable. Afterall, all humans are as fallible as we are, and as imperfect too!
Thinking about it, I feel, some of us, undergo “tonic immobility”.
Some sharks, when turned upside down, are placed in what is called a “tonic immobility”. In this state, the shark remains in a state of paralysis for an average of fifteen minutes before it recovers. Scientists take advantage of this and conduct various tests on the shark in this state because the sharks are not dead but rather, these otherwise monstrous heirs of the famous JAWS, are absolutely harmless during this time of tonic immobility.
Situations, circumstances, problems, people et cetera sometimes turn some of us upside down, into a state of suspension, a state of tonic immobility, wherein, its as if the brain has stopped and our normal and sane abilities have ceased. We are as if in the control and possession of the circumstances/people to be done with as and however as things unfold.
A harsh word, or a denial or something similar, turned an otherwise normal Chitra upside down, and threw her into a state of tonic immobility, a surge of hormones and emotions throwing her into a inebriated state, to be carried away in the flow and tide of the moment, even to the end of a noose.
Doesn’t it sometimes happen to us? It does? Many of us, remnants, have our ‘tonic immobility’ moments and we have, by the grace of God alone, have so far fared well. In these present times when the holding and bearing capacities of people are reducing drastically, we need to be equipped well to face such a scenario. Not that, we all will run to commit suicide, but during such bouts, we certainly are neither constructive nor harmless.
An outlook of life that sees beyond the current and the present and the tangible and temporal is very important even for the sake of defining relationships and facing life. For me, the Bible has been a great eye-opener to things in the present, a source of understanding about the whys and whats of the past, and a confidence builder about the upcoming and impending future. My bouts of tonic immobility have reduced drastically since I started relying more on this book, and I am surely becoming stronger. I have found the tonic for my immobilities. May more Chitras do so too….
Tags: immobility, shark, Suicidal tendancy, Suicide
May 29th, 2009 at 10:50 am
one of my brother’s batchmate commited suicide recently in B’lore for the same reason. I think people also have a concept of “rebirth” on their minds and think that things will get better in the next life and take a fateful decission as this.
My heart gets heavy when i think of their family members whom they’ve left in a much bitter situation.
All my prayers with them.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Well written bro.
Many people have before-time anchored their life boat on the so called shore of relationship, education, addiction etc. But when their bright hope sets down, the tide rises and dashes against the shore, challenging the strength of the anchor. Which then falls-apart, as a pyramid of cards.
This article challenges us to remember where & on whom we anchor our life boats on.
May 30th, 2009 at 11:02 am
It is very sad, thousands of souls of youngsters around the world sleep in the darkness, but this is also the fact that life does not end in the midst of failures. The Bible proves there is a life beyond our failures also.
Richard
May 30th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Totally agree that the apology would hardly help…you leave behind loved ones who will be nursing these injuries for the rest of their lives…and rightly pointed out that on the inside they seem to be spineless and more than that as Geo points out towards the end that they are ‘HOPEless’ too…
June 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
i too tried to commit suicide due to similar reasons and i have still not completely come out of it.My family has pulled me through and today i live for them in a debt of love. I did never stop anyone from committing suicide but i do realise that henceforth romance seems to mean nothing to me.Till now i used to only survive after being jilted.I have slowly started living but what i have lost is forever lurking as a shadow on my happiness.It keeps on haunting me.It reflects in this poem by Mainak Dhar..
Cast away, spiralling down,
flapping wings that have been shorn.
What was yours original sin?
or did you just dare look within?
Beyond the façade they made
meant to be blindly obeyed.
And where those really wings of flight
or just fetters to bind you tight?
June 9th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Even the months of May and June notice a number of suicide cases when the board results are out. A boy named Siddhant of my school is missing since the day 12th Board Result came out. He got a 58%. He went that morning to the school to check his result and never returned back. The only son of the family that lies in brokenness and trauma. No one knows where he is. Alive or dead !! The police has not found his body yet, and there have been no ransom calls…Siddhant according to his parents was a strong boy with a strong will power, then what happened I wonder…
Even i think with the writer what makes people take such steps? Is life so cheap? Suicide is SELFISH more than anything else!
“There definitely is life beyond temporary shattering of dreams and broken relationships. THERE IS A LIFE BEYOND FAILURES!!!”
June 25th, 2009 at 4:08 am
Well written post, the internet tends to be full of garbage these days, so good work and keep giving out useful content.