Being a Stranger to your Family…
By: Archana (April 30th, 2008)It was 7pm and I was fuming. Nothing had gone right for me. The ideas that I had painstakingly worked on all week were dismissed by my boss in less than three seconds.
A colleague had promised to help me get through my deadline but conveniently forgot. My cellphone service provider threatened to block my outgoing calls if I did not pay the bill till the end of the day and worst of them all….my paycheck arrived…and the young upstart who joined the company yesterday was suddenly earning more than me! (yes…I sneaked into his payslip…come on, my suspicion wasnt without reason!!)
All of a sudden, I felt the sky was falling down on me…Too many problems ambushing me at the same time..
I walked out of my cubicle and my boss gestured me to come over as he was enjoying a cup of tea with others. “There is some executive from a small Chinese firm who wants to come and meet us. He is only free on sunday. Since the others have had a long week why dont you come to office on sunday and meet him? You can also take the time on sunday to plan your week ahead effectively..right?” said the boss.
My head bobbed vigourously and a big fake smile was flashed..
The collegue who had ditched me slapped my back and said “I know I had promised to take you to the IPL match with the extra ticket..but I think a girl is interested in me and I would like to ask her out for the game…I’m sure you wont mind…maybe next time?,”..
Needless to say my head bobbed even more vigourously and once again an even more radiant fake smile was flashed…
Feeling heavier than the old Adnan Sami, I made my way home. I rang my doorbell and it wouldnt buzz. I pounded on the door and my mom opened it. “What is wrong with this door bell??!! why cant you fix it? and was everybody sleeping?? I was pounding on the door and standing out like a dog for the last half an hour,” I howled.
My mom took my bag wordlessly and asked me to come for dinner. I saw my sister and a vein popped out of my head. She was wearing my favourite white t-shirt and there were sauce stains on it..! And my dad…he began his lecture of how irresponsible I was not to pay my phonebill on time and how embarrasing it is for him when the service providers keep calling the landline number to remind me..
Grrrrrrrrrrr…
I locked myself in my room and thought I’ll open gmail and vent about my day to whoever shows available in my friends’ list…before I could do that, I saw a new mail…
Interestingly, the sender was “God”. I was sure it was spam. Even poor God is not spared these days.
I opened the mail and this is what I read…
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
‘Oh excuse me please’ was my reply.
He said, ‘Please excuse me too;I wasn’t watching for you.’
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
‘Move out of the way,’ I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God’s still small voice came to me and said,
‘While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You’ll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.’
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
‘Wake up, little one, wake up,’ I said.
‘Are these the flowers you picked for me?’
He smiled, ‘I found ‘em, out by the tree.
I picked ‘em because they’re pretty like you.
I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the blue.’
I said, ‘Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.’
He said, ‘Oh, Mom, that’s okay.
I love you anyway.’
I said, ‘Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.’
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed…
don’t you think?
I was stunned….Tears in my eyes i hugged my parents and kissed my sister. “Go and wash your face you idiot. We have bought your favourite strawberry icecream!”, shrieked my sister…
As i tucked into that heavenly icecream, i thanked God for sending me that mail…and if it was just spam..i dont mind the virus that got into my computer. Who cares about losing offfice data when you are having icecream with the people you love most in the world right? :)
April 30th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Inspite of living just a couple of hours away from home, I hardly get to meet my parents. So if nothing, my mom begins her day and ends her day by calling me invariably. The least I could do is entertain her call but (thanks to the so-called job pressure and a tiring day) I dismiss it (if I may add occasionally).
Taking our parents for granted may not convict us now so much as on a day when we are taken for granted.
A simple casual call, a small gift, little gossip about our friends, asking their health and maybe taking them out for shopping might just help us bridge the gap with our family, esp. our parents.
The author may have tried to put the thoughts in a lighthearted manner but they carry a sense of responsibility in holding on to your family, esp. in these times of nuclear and unit families. And the ice-cream is just a semiotic way to show how to do it. Keep it up!
April 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
A lovely article. It brought light into my eyes, as i always treat my husband and daughter so badly after a bad day in the office
April 30th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Simple yet wonderful article! so very true…I cud relate to it….!!
April 30th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Work being rejected/not recognized, variance in paycheques, colleague’s priorities are some of the struggles that human race is enforced with for some decades now. Listening to Daniel Powter’s song “Bad day” is a better option than taking out the frustration on family or the close ones.
Everyone is flawed in one way or the other. When this fact is accepted, life becomes easy and when this fact is worked upon, life becomes memorable.
Even at the risk of sounding dangerously cliched, Always remember the 90/10 principle of life. “10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react”.
Family is the most important aspect of one’s life, but work is equally important as well since we spend half our life time in the workplace.
“KEEP THINGS SIMPLE (and in their respective places) to achieve the BALANCE”.
P.S: Just like most of us, i also believe that “Advice is for others only”….
April 30th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Simple, yet powerful and gripping episode. God Bless You!
April 30th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
the whole day we take whatevr our Boss & Colleagues give us wid a smile on our face!…we nevr have the guts to reply them or bak answer them…But if our family tell or ask us sumthing to do…v immediately hit back!…probab bcoz we are not gettin paid by our families! But what abt all the sacrifices and pains they have taken for us…will it compare against the occasional promotions and yearly leaves we get at our workplace??
This is what a blog should be…matters relating to evryday life..not useless information on technology and latest hollywood news……..
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Very well said Archana…God has given us our families as our back up of energy, motivation, love in this world. And I’ve realized it much more when I moved out frm Ahmd to Chennai in my career after spending 30 yrs with them. God bless
May 2nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
very true archana..n its true for all of us i am sure…we are totally a different person when outside of home but the true colors come out inside the home..with the family members..n the one who is who he is …both inside n outside of home is a real person…!! rest all of us are wearing masks and roaming around..fooling everyone….family is the place where we are not only supposed to be expecting to be loved and taken care of but we also have the responsibility of loving n taking care of them…GOD has given u ur families in His Divine wisdom…n His choice is the best..we may not see it…but will surely realise it sooner or later….we all fall short at this as we take our family members for granted…n we take them for a bin to vent out all kind of garbage we want to…but words hurt much more than deeds…n it hurts even more when our own ppl hurt us….so….just LOVE….spread love….i am learning and making an effort…we all should….
God Bless u Archana..!!
May 4th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
In the present day competitive work atmosphere, to achieve higher goals for the organisation, we ignore our family and our duties and responsibilities to them. Very true that the organisation will not shed two tears even in your death, but the family will miss you for ever and miss your love and affection (though you didn’t show it to them). I do agree that office work is important as the organisation’s growth and an employee’s prosperity are inter dependent, but Love and affection comes only from the near and dear in the family.
Well done Archana. Looking forward for more of such eye openers from you. May god give a happy and prosperous life.